The Legendary Housewives of New York City Season One stars Ari Beckham, Jean Burruss, Nia Cosby, Tre Giudice, Aaliyah Long, and Janay Price, whilst Jen Aydin and Kuren Sharapova serve as 'friends of the housewives.'
TAGLINES Janay - "Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, martinis are." Jean - "I ain't never skipped a bag or a beatdown." Aaliyah - "Don't hate me because I have it all, hate me because I'm beautiful. Ari - "I've walked with the best, so I can handle your worst." Nia - "Going against Nia, it’s gonna cost you.” Tre - "Life in New York is a game, and this Queen makes the rules."
Jean's Food Tasting (...continued)
Tre: Jen, who is this girl?
Jen: She’s a non-factor.
Nia: From what I was told. This shit was dry as f*ck, so I had to take something to get me through this night.
Nia: Jennifer is it? Sis, did you brush your teeth today? Because your teeth are hideous.
[Janay sips her drink and Aaliyah's eyes widen]
Ari: Nia!! Don't say that!
Nia: What!?
Jen Aydin Confessional: Why is Nia talking to the plants?
Aaliyah: Jean, can we get the food before the mess starts?
Jean: Okay ladies. Everybody sit down, it’s time for the tasting.
Jean: Before I pass out the food. Special shout out to my main chef, Becky who has prepared all the food tonight.
Ari: Hello, Becky. Nice to meet you!
[Becky and Jean pass out the first meal]
Nia: Bitch, this chicken is cold.
Ari: [pats Nia] Girl!
Jean: So is your house. Buy a roof.
Tre: Someone bit into my chicken.
Jen Aydin Confessional: This is a joke. Right? This is not the quality of service I was expecting…
[Becky passes out more chicken]
Tre: More chicken?
Nia: This hard-ass chicken.
Jen: Jean. Stop!
Kuren: Jean the food isn’t that good.
Jean: As a ping pong champion I know you have a strict diet. Green beans and corn. So I wasn’t expecting you to like it.
Janay: The Macaroni needs a little bit more salt, but other than that, it tastes good.
Jean: Becky appreciates all of your feedback.
Tre: Janay… I heard you and Jen met up the other day. How was that?
Janay: Me and Jen had an amazing lunch. Just discussed some of the ladies.
Ari: What was discussed?
Janay: Well it was brought to my attention that tonight was supposed to be an ambush against me and Jean.
Tre: An ambush!? [looks at Jen]
Janay: Yes, led by you and Mrs. Up and Up over there.
[Jen looks away from Tre]
Aaliyah: Sounds like something that would happen.
Tre: Aaliyah are you trying to say something?
Janay Price Confessional: Target Tammy had a lot to say and was planning an ambush against me, but she hasn’t even looked in my direction tonight. Maybe she was warned.
Janay: [looks at Kuren] So were you not planning to ambush me? Because that is what Jen told me. I was going to give you a second chance because of my friendship with Tre.
Kuren: Ambush you? I’m not a calculated girl. And I don’t know why Jen is being messy.
Janay: Well you might wanna take that up with her.
Jen: Kuren, you “did” say you wanted to go after Janay…
Aaliyah: Wow.
Kuren: Don’t put words in my mouth. I said I got my eye on her.
Janay: I’m not sure why you would have your eye on me. I don’t even know your last name.
Kuren: I know you love to hang around old celebrities like Stevie Wonder and Elton John, but that doesn’t mean you are deaf in one ear like them. If you’re gonna be a reporter, report your information right.
Aaliyah: I’m sorry, but what did Janay do to y’all that make y’all upset? Why would y’all want to attack her?
Janay: [to Aaliyah] She doesn’t know.
Kuren Sharapova Confessional: I hate when people twist your words. Reporters loved to do that with me and started my beef with Serena Williams my entire career. We are good now, however.
Janay: Me and Tre talked, and agreed that it went a little too far and we would start over. But, Karen was plotting…
Jen Aydin Confessional: Am I being messy? Yes.. Do I CARE? Absolutely not.
Kuren: I just met you. How would I be plotting? This is laughable.
Janay: You didn’t even know me, but felt the need to attack me. So, therefore, you are capable of anything in my eyes.
Jen: Kuren why are you plotting?
Tre: I don’t think that case let Kuren and Janay talk this out.
Kuren: How would I take her down? I’m confused. Maybe she has something to hide and is scared it’ll come out, but don’t take that insecurity out on me. Jen, I need you to shut the fuck up and wait your turn.
Janay: I have nothing to hide. I’m a bad bitch. [twirls]
Aaliyah: Janay.
Ari: Jean! Is there tequila?
Jen: Kuren, there’s no need to get angry… Maybe eat one of your candles and calm down.
Kuren: I see blubber.
Janay: Check the mirror before you talk about insecurities. You’re washed up and frail. Of course, you are hating on me. I mean look at me and look at you.
Kuren: Cute. What am I looking at though?
Kuren: [to Jen}I hope your children choke on my candy I said wait your turn.
Jen: Kuren, my kids don’t eat this shit.
Janay: The baddest bitch to come across your eyes. Look at you. You’re thirty. The outfit is cheap.
Kuren: I’m dressed in Dior baby I walked for their show and kept this fit. You would be irrelevant without Tre. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Janay: Tre and I have a relationship that has nothing to do with you. We are good.
Aaliyah: Kuren, I really do think you just started judging Janay without getting to know her.
Tre: Aaliyah, why are you inserting yourself? Sit back!
Aaliyah: Because I can, the fuck?
Ari: Oooooh [hand covers mouth]
Tre: Nobody knows you at this table and don’t address my friend.
Janay: Well Aaliyah, just know that Karen has been calling you a scammer. [sips drink]
Aaliyah: Scammer!? Wait what? Really Karen, you would go that low.
Jen: Okay I believe the scammer rumors. She gives off fraudulent vibes.
Tre: Aaliyah is a fraud.
Aaliyah: Jen you don’t know me.
Jean Burruss Confessional: The girls are fighting over a five-course meal. As a woman of etiquette. I know how to host an event.
Kuren: I never heard of you and you suddenly got a show on NBC? That’s scammer behavior.
Kuren Sharapova Confessional: I did call Aaliyah a scammer, but I never discussed it with Janay. I don’t trust Jen, she’s running back saying everything and adding spice to it.
Aaliyah: Now it’s my turn to be ganged up on.
Jen: Aaliyah, They say you steal from the poor.
Nia: Jen… you literally are the poor.
Jean: Nia.. not too much on Jen, you broke hood squirrel.
Jen: Nia go mother those struggling kids. They are on the streets right now.
Nia: Hoes be making up shit out the crack of their asses.
Aaliyah: I really don’t give a fuck what y’all or a felon have to say.
Tre: Aaliyah I heard that you were opening your legs for Henry Campbell the Executive at NBC and that’s how you got your “show.”
Aaliyah: Unlike you Tre, I worked for my success.
Ari Beckham Confessional: [looks left and right] The girls are just tearing each other apart. I just want to eat my chicken.
Aaliyah: Y’all want to come at me because I have an opinion like everyone else. Jailbird, you should have the least to say.
Tre: So what I’ve been to jail, but I came out and still be more successful than you’ll ever be. I didn’t have to lay on my back to get here.
Aaliyah: You’re not. You had to steal all of your money. I’m young and pretty and you think I used my pussy to get far in my career.
Tre: And you did!
Tre: Anyways, ladies for the ones who can afford it. I’m inviting you all to a trip to Napa Valley.
Ari: Thank you Tre, that is so kind of you. Can I bring a friend?
Tre: Of course.
Jean: I’m open to going on a trip. I want to address that homeless dumbfuck Nia.
Janay: Tre, as long as you have that albino possum six feet away from me, I will be in attendance.
Ari: Oh Janay, you got to let her be.
Janay: I already said she will get two strikes. Now, I’m on her frail ass neck.
Jean: Thank you all for coming. Make sure you grab some to-go plates.
Jen: Jean I love you, but the food was terrible. I wish you success on your venture though, love.
Producer Clara: Are you aware your lies caused unnecessary mess tonight?
Jen Aydin Confessional: Okay, and?
Tre Guidice Confessional: Jen has some explaining to do this dinner isn’t over yet.
Nia: Ari, let’s go. I'm tired of that dumb hoe Jean.
Jean: Bitch get your dirty ass out of my event.
Nia: Bitch do you wanna get popped?
[Jean calls Heather]
[Nia knocks down a plate of chicken and leaves]
[Ari escorts Nia out]
Tre: Jen, let’s sit and talk for a second. You obviously twisted something, now look at what happened
Jen: I had nothing but good intentions, but it was all Kuren. She got so defensive without hearing anyone talk.
Tre: Well I think we should all meet up soon and discuss this.
Jen: I agree, I am taking my private plane to Napa, maybe you guys can join me?
Tre: I would love to.
Jean: Of course, I feel the rich girls need to be separated from the other ones for travel.
Jen: Goodnight.
Jean: Goodnight ladies. Thank you for coming.
[Scene ends as the camera pans to the chicken on the floor]
[Camera pans across New York City]
Nia Cosby Solo
[Nia brings Chase into the home hand in hand. Nia's unaware of her kids are in the living room waiting for her. She pauses and then quickly puts a smile on her face. Her kids look like they are ready for war but Chase isn't biting, he stands his ground).
Chase: Nia...I thought we already talked about this. I don't like feeling uncomfortable around your crew.
Nia: Boy pay them no mind [Laughs then does a slow turn towards her children...they stand down]
Chase: Maybe instead of being so hostile towards one another, why don't we sit down and talk? I think if we get more acquainted then we could get a better understanding of each other.
Nina: Mom, I think that's a great idea and I think we should hear him out!
Tre: What exactly do we need to speak on? How are you not uncomfortable with Ma freaking on a man that's around our age??!! Idc what anyone thinks, the shit is gross!
Nina: Says the man who might be sneaking around with one of Mom's friend daughter's! Yeah, I bet you didn't know we would clock your tea huh?! And she might be married you, homewrecker!
[Tre gets in Nina's face which makes the kids huddle and pull the two apart. Production pauses and suggest everyone takes a small break]
Nia: You know what... [Pauses with tears streaming down her face] Let's talk about it then. Cmon everyone, let us sit down.
Cosbyana: I don't see the issue bro. He's grown and he's been treating Ma good, hell we all hear him knocking her walls loose upstairs
Nia: EXCUSE ME??!!
Cosbyana: Ma most of us in here are grown, we know what's up okay? Your youngest is 17 so we know all about the birds and the bees. You gave us this big-ass mansion to live in, supply us with thousands of dollars in allowance every month, and taught each of us how to shoot. What more could we ask for?
Nina: Exactly! She gives her all and yet punk-ass kids like Tre are so ungrateful! You're grown, you could always take your funky ass into your own place! We're here by choice and you have-
Tre: SHUT UP! You think it's cute that Ma has a sugar baby on her shoulders! He's making us look bad like we're a bunch of jokes! You enable this behavior because you got a dude who's bi!
Nina: He sure is and sucks them up well so your point?! Ma always taught us not to judge, maybe you're upset because you got something you want to tell us??!!
Nia: Y'all two can bicker and throw insults all you want, bottom line... Chase is moving in and we're gonna treat him with respect! Tre you know I love you but your sister is right, if him living here bothers you that much then you always have the option to leave on your own. Hell maybe take one of your siblings with you to keep you company...I just want peace in my domain.
(Scene ends as Tre gets in Chase's face and looks like he's ready to strike. You can tell his mother's words register in his thoughts as he ultimately backs down and agrees with his mom's decision).
Aaliyah Long Solo
Aaliyah Long Confessional: Today I’m meeting with my team. Honey when I tell you I some big names!
Aaliyah Team:
Talent Manager: Andrea Nelson Meigs
Manager: Steve Pamon
Stylist and Creative Director: Jahleel Weaver
Steve: Well we have wonderful news for you Aaliyah. Your new Brand ambassador of Adidas. We will start shooting promo content soon as this meeting over
Aaliyah: Oh my god, I can’t believe this, the bar just keeps on rising for me.
Andrea: Also we are about to rebrand Mijmasks for the US Mark so the promo video that we shot a few weeks ago we plan on releasing soon.
Aaliyah: Okay that’s going to be good. I also know that I will be leaving Friday for a girls' trip to Napa Valley
Jahleel: Yes I get everything for your trip in order. I think you're really going to love your outfits.
Aaliyah: I know you got nothing but the best for me Jahleel.
Jahleel: Also, while you are there make sure to take pictures. Cause babe Napa is beautiful!
Aaliyah: Most definitely going to happen!
Aaliyah Long Confessional: The difference between me and some of the other ladies In this group is that I was born gifted. While they are just felons and have been. So it’s fuck them honestly.
Janay Price Solo
[Walks to empty studio]
Janay Price Confessional: Today I am looking at the space that I will be using for my new talk show.
[contractor walks in]
Contractor: So we have plans to get started this week. We still need to go over some small details.
[Contractor pulls out decor book]
Janay: I like that pink. I want everything pink. I want curtains covering this whole wall. Fuchsia and pink.
Janay Price Confessional: I am excited about this venture. It’s something I’ve never done before. I would like a throne-type chair over here. [points] Over here we need a big rug, maybe some plants.
Contractor: I’ll get in contact with the decorator. Thanks for the input. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
[Scene fades as Janay looks at the empty room]
Tre Guidice Solo
Tre Guidice Confessional: This is the day. I will finally be seeing him face to face. It’s been months since we have seen each other.
Louie's Lawyer: We went over everything on our end and Louie agrees to pay Ms. Giudice $15,000,000 as stated in the prenup. However, Louie would like to keep the house the two of them Purchased together. As you know the house was his brothers who was the previous owner and sold you both the home. He has recently passed as everyone is aware and would like to keep the home for sentimental reasons.
James (Tre's Lawyer): My client would like to take over the home. She did made the most payments of it and it’s only fair to Ms. Giudice to keep the house.
Louie: Tre, why are you doing this? You know this is fucked up.
Tre: Fucked up was you lying to me and sticking your dick in somebody else.
James: Can we not right now?
Louie: I’m sorry Tre. I really am we don’t have to do this. We can go to counseling to make it right.
Tre: I don’t want you anymore. Pay me my money and give me the house so we can end this. I’m done I just want you out of my life.
Louie: Fine! Give her what she wants.
James: Ok well will get the paperwork ready and send them to you both for your signatures.
Tre: Good!
[Tre gets up and leaves]
Tre Giudice Confessional: I’m ready to move on.
Jean Burruss Solo
Jean Burruss Confessional: After hosting a fabulous tasting. I’m confident that this will be the top restaurant in New York but some of my friends had critiques. So I called Becky over here to discuss how we can improve.
Jean: Well I have to thank you again. You and your team of chefs did an amazing job the other night Even though some of the girls had some things to say about your cooking.
Becky: Well with that being said I have some critiques about your friends. Some of these girls were licking there, not wiping their mouths, and fighting each other. I thought you had classy friends.
Jean: Now Becky Not too much... let’s focus on what you getting paid for
Becky: Oh now Jean.. sweetie now your cheap ass knows better than to bring up payroll. I only got $21 dollars for that event.
Jean Burruss Confessional: Now this old lady tripping.
Jean: I don’t know why you’re trying to get feisty with me but need I remind you, you offered your services for this event for free. I was comfortable with you not doing it for free so I tipped you for that macaroni and two pieces of chicken you made. Now if there’s a problem you can get the fuck out of my house and I can find another chef.
Becky: Hmm… I apologize let’s just move on
Jean: Now the reason I invited you over is to ask you; how would you feel if brought a second main chef to the team?
Becky: Why? I have an amazing staff already and I’m the top chef in the Big Apple.
Jean Burruss Confessional: Becky struggled to get her career started in the early days but after she slept with Gordon Ramsey. She rose to the top. Cooking meals for legends like Stevie Wonder and Loretta Devine. I have a lot of respect for her, but I feel the more numbers in chefs the more diverse options we have
Jean: I feel you’re an excellent chef but the food at the event was giving one-dimensional. I feel if we add more people to our team, our menu would be perfect.
Becky: I receive that.
[Heather walks in]
Jean: Heather!! What a surprise.
Jean Burruss Confessional: Heather maybe my security guard, but over time she has become my good girlfriend. Sometimes she drops by unannounced.
Becky: Baby why are you an “I’m luxury“ shirt from TJ Maxx?
Heather: Why were you serving macaroni with no cheese the other night?
Jean: Oh lord.
Jean Burruss Confessional: Heather and Becky don’t really mesh. There was some drama at the event. Apparently Heather was stealing food from the kitchen while Becky was cooking.
[Unseen footage of Becky and Heather arguing is shown]
Jean: Let’s sit down and put our differences aside ladies. Heather, I’m glad you dropped by because you were on standby last night.
Jean: I’m going on a trip with the ladies to Napa and Heather I would love for you to be there of course.
Heather: Yes girl, If one of these ladies decides to get froggy with you. I’ll be happy to sit on them.
[Scene ends as they all laugh and cheer}
END OF EPISODE
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