The Legendary Housewives of Hidden Hills Season One stars Dee Bell, Shamari Devine, Bianca Fletcher, Sade Grayson, Megan Kennedy, Adrianna Dakota Ray, and Paris Wildwood, with Jean Burruss serving as a 'friend of the housewives.'
TAGLINES
Paris - "I may be a wildcard, but this girl can never be tamed."
Sade - “No amount of pressure will ever crush this diamond.”
Bianca - "I may be a Princess, but I'm not a Drama Queen."
Megan - "I got 99 problems, but a ring ain't one"
Dee - "This New York Apple is here to plant her seeds in the Hills."
Shamari - "I tell it like it is, but I'll try to make it nice."
Adrianna - "They say I'm too much, and I say they are not enough."
Shamari Devine Solo
[Camera pans to Shamari in the studio recording an R&B Song]
Shamari Devine Confessional: A bitch is always working on some music, always singing and always recording. However, it's like... I've been so busy with music I haven't seen some of my friends in millennials now.
Shamari: Turn this bitch up in my headphones, please.
Music Producer: I got you, bro, for this note I'm going really need your all in it though.
Shamari: Okay, are we saying full belts like Miss Jennifer Hudson or a lighter note like Miss Maria-
[Shamari is interrupted as Ashley Darby walks into the studio and tense music plays]
Ashley: It's my turn to use the studio hoe you know I'm recording "Coffee and Love" part 2. I booked this for 12 and it's about to run over.
Shamari Devine Confessional: What the F**K is this bitch doing here? She really gonna storm into the booth like that when she knows I'm in here. Everybody knows her ass can't sing like that and she needs to be at home with Micheal.
Shamari: No it's MY TURN to use the studio I booked it for 2 hours and not 1. You need to leave don't nobody wanna produce that trash.
Ashley: I'll have security escort you out because you taking up my time. Yo ass can't even sing
Shamari: If you don't get your WIDE BODY out of this booth, I'm going to take you out myself. Nobody paying to hear that autotune bullshit about you and your 'bank account' you call a husband.
Shamari Devine Confessional: Who does Doja Cat think she is?
Ashley: At least my husband is here supporting me where is yours??
Shamari: My husband is out earning a check, but you wouldn't know anything about a check, because I know you were scrounging for money out here and recording music nobody wanna hear.
Producers: Ashley, we are going to have to ask you to leave.
[Ashley pours water over the desk]
Shamari: TELL THAT BITCH SHE FIRED FROM MY COMPANY AND ALL HER MUSIC BLACKLISTED! CAN'T SING TO KEEP A MAN.
[Shamari runs up to Ashley and pulls her arm and then security escort Ashley out]
Shamari Devine Confessional: F Darby and that wack-ass song.
Sade Grayson Solo
[Camera pans over downtown Los Angeles, then over and into Sade and Corey’s office space]
Sade Grayson Confessional: Today, Corey and I are discussing all things compliance and liability with our legal team. There’s just so much paperwork, so many intricate details, and a laundry list of things we need to get done to get our agency up and running.
Sade: We really have to decide on a name. Without a name, we can’t even get an EIN or file our articles of incorporation.
Lawyer: The good news is once you two decide on a name we can beeline and get that handled.
Corey: I just want to make sure it’s right.
Sade: Keith, did you draft up the remaining licensing paperwork?
Keith: Yep! Once we decide on a name we can just plug that in.
Corey: We gotta be respected.
Sade: That’s great, I made some revisions to the bylaws and contract samples you sent me. Can you look ov—
Corey: -writing on dry erase board- DAMNIT! Why is this so hard?
Sade [to the legal team]: Hey guys, take a break we need a minute. [Legal team exits]
Corey: Why did you send them out? Do you know how much we pay them an hour?
Sade: Baby I need you to focus.
Corey: Yo! I’m right here with you, what do you mean shorty?
Sade: You are so pressed about this name.
Corey: The name is important Sade. It’s part of our brand.
Sade: It is! But I feel like you’re not helping enough with the other moving parts. It’s a lot. Corey: -sighs- My fault man. I just want the name to stand out.
Sade: Stand Out!
Corey: -chuckles- Stand Out, really?
Sade: -grabs his marker and adds Stand Out to Corey’s running list of names- Boom! Let’s go grab something to eat.
Corey: Let me grab this [grabs Sade’s butt]
[Scene fades as Sade nudges them and they walk out]
Girls Night Out
[Adrianna Dakota Ray House and Bar]
Adrianna Ray Confessional: After that disastrous time at Bianca's Charity Event, I wanted to have a little girls' night out, so we can get to know each other better. Hopefully, all the ladies will arrive on time.
[Megan walks in]
[Adrianna walks downstairs]
Adrianna: Uhmm, Hello Megan...
Megan: Hellooo, Nice House
Adrianna: Thank you, you can go to the open bar.
Megan Confessional: This House is BIG!
Adrianna Ray Confessional: Why the f**k Megan HERE first?
Adrianna: Megan I wanted to know if you would like to meet up tomorrow if you don't mind
Megan: Oh Sure I don't mind
[Dee Bell Arrives]
Adrianna: Hey Dee! [hugs her]
Dee: Hi love, how are you?
Dee Bell Confessional: It's nice to be around Adrianna. However, I'm hoping I can meet the other ladies before they start knuckin' and buckin'
Adrianna: We're going to play a little Shady game and I heard you do it best.
Dee: Well I can be a little Shaaadddyy. [laughs] Do we have any drinks? That can help my shadiness come a little sooner [laughs]
Adrianna: Yes hun, open bar
[Sade Grayson, Jean Burruss, and Paris Wildwood arrive]
Sade: Hello Hello [Looks at Adrianna crazy]
Jean: [Walks in] Heyyy Ladies.
Adrianna: Yesss Sade. Heyy Jean boo.
Paris: [walks in as 'Bossy' by Kelis plays] Heyyyy hoesss!!! LET'S TURN UP!!!
[Dee Returns from the bar and notices Jean]
Dee: Jeannnn! Bitch, what are you doing here in California?
Jean: Girl, I just moved here and New York is a mess right now.
Dee: Me too chile.
Dee Bell Confessional: Jean is a very good friend of mine. We've known each other for years actually! She's actually the aunt of my cousin. It's really good to see a familiar face here in the Hills.
Adrianna: [Walk into the living room] Okay ladies let's make our way into the living room.
Megan: Oh this is niceeee and big.
Jean: Omg this is beautiful.
Paris: Oh okay this living room is.... modest.
Sade: [To Paris] Very!
Dee: This is nice. I need your realtor.
Sade Grayson Confessional: F**KING Diddy hasn't paid off yet!
Dee Bell Confessional: If f**king Diddy gets you this. I need to find myself a rapper.
Adrianna: [sits] After Bianca's event, I think we all got on the wrong foot. Dee reached out to me and thought we all should re-introduce ourselves to everyone and just start over. I'll start to break the ice. Okay well, I'm Adrianna Dakota Ray. Daughter of Judge Mathis.
Dee: Was he really a crackhead?
Adrianna: [roll eyes and flip hair] Yes my Dad was, but he changed his life.
Jean: Hey ladies... I'm Jean Burruss. You probably know me from my hit songs, but it's nice to meet unfamiliar faces here.
Megan Kennedy Confessional: Jean! What hot songs!? They barely made it on the billboard hot 500. TUH!
Megan: I'm Megan Kennedy and I'm the leader of the school board.
Dee: I'm Dee Bell, I am a programmer and an entrepreneur.
Sade: My name is Sade Grayson and I got whole lotta money.
Dee: Okay money bags. What do you do though?
Jean Burruss Confessional: It smells like new money.
[Adrianna flips hair in Shade as Sade speaks]
Sade: I own a drop shipping company and several other ventures. My parents are also oil tycoons.
Dee Confessional: What the hell is a 'drop ship.'
[Bianca arrives]
Bianca: Hi ladies, how are all of you! What game is this?
Adrianna: You made it just in time. We've just introduced ourselves to one another.
Bianca: Okay sounds fun.
[Paris and Sade look at Bianca up and down]
Bianca Fletcher Confessional: Five seconds into Adrianna's home and I'm already feeling tension from the chocolate and vanilla swirl over there.
Bianca: Okay. I'm Princess Bianca Fletcher of Denmark. I'm married to Prince Oliver of Denmark. My family and his family are very wealthy. Also, I am---
Sade: Princess of Denmark for how long? I heard the Queen is sick of you.
[Bianca looks at Sade]
Paris Wildwood Confessional: To say she's royalty, she's the MOST irrelevant out here in Hidden Hills.
Bianca: Okay look--
Adrianna: OKAY LADIES! Let's stop and play a game... "Never have I ever" I'm pretty sure everyone knows the rules.
[Paris, Sade, Megan, expresses annoyed looks]
[Dee sips champagne]
[Bianca rolls her eyes]
[Jean stuffs food in her mouth]
Jean Confessional: Never have I ever? Oh lordddd, this is gonna be Shadyyyy.
Sade: [pours shots for everyone] GET READY!
Dee: Never Have I ever had a threesome...
[Megan, Adrianna, and Bianca takes one shot]
[Sade takes two shots]
Dee: [Eyes Widen] Two shots? Sade
Sade: [giggles] I've had a few, so yeah...
Megan: Okay my turn. Never have I ever sucked my man from the back? Don't lie
[Paris, Adrianna, Megan, Bianca, and Dee take one shot]
Paris: Yasssss Adrianna.
[Jean looks shocked]
Sade: Oh Y'all just nasty...
Adrianna Confessional: Jude for tho shall not be judged
Adrianna: Never have I ever at pussy.
[Megan, Janay, Adrianna, Paris, and Bianca, all take one shot]
[Sade takes two shots]
Dee: I love the honesty.
Megan: Really Sade?
Paris: Damn, so we're all gay.
Sade: Yes, really. Tehe
Paris Wildwood Confessional: I'd really hate to eat Adrianna's pussy. [LAUGHS]
Dee Bell Confessional: You won't catch me eating any of these bitches pussies. NEVER!
Sade: Megan let's not forget I ate yours
[Everyone gasps]
Paris: Why wasn't I invited?
Megan: And let's not forget one of the threesomes you had was with me...
Dee: Was it like a one-night stand, or did y'all have a f**k buddy situation?
Sade: Paris, I think you were in Hong Kong
Paris: Oh rightttt I remember now.
Jean Confessional: So are these girls lovers or enemies. I'm confused.
Sade: I f**k Megan whenever I want.
Jean: Sade, I thought you had a man?
Sade Confessional: At this point, I'm drunk.
Paris: I know that's right, and that's what men do to Adrianna. Fuck her whenever they want to. [Sade cackles] That's why her pussy is so loose.
Adrianna: Okay Paris, I see you're clearly obsessed with me. It needs to stop.
Paris: With what? Look at your life, there's nothing to be obsessed about.
Adrianna: All you do is talk about ME bitch! I'm not your storyline.
Paris: Honey I have my own, Your pussy needs the diamond, not YOU.
Adrianna: You just a white bitch, who has nothing going for herself.
[Sade looks, Bianca gasps, Jean is drunk and Dee interrupts]
Dee: Never Have I EVER SLEPT WITH A MARRIED MAN!
Paris: I haven't.... But Adrianna has.
Adrianna: All you do is talk about my pussy! You know what, get your white ass out my motherfucking house bitch
Paris: Not white ass... How rude!
Sade: Adri, don't do that.
Dee: That's not nice
[Bianca sips and Jean awakens]
Bianca: Hey now, let's refrain from the "white bitch comment"
Sade: Oh God shut up fake PRINCESS [slurring]
Adrianna: Bianca it's nothing against you. I'm sick of this bitch!
[Adrianna's partner Diddy arrives]
[Everyone sees Diddy]
Adrianna: Oop the MAN of the house.
Bianca: [awkwardly] Hi.
Paris: Get your maid dude, she's crazy.
Sade: Diddy, you live in this trap house friend?
Diddy: Paris... I'm going to need you to stay out of my business with Adrianna. [Adrianna and hugs her man] It's like your obsession with her you've been saying some things about her all over town get a life girl. [Adrianna flips hair]
Megan: Why is a MAN addressing a female like that?
Jean: No disrespect to you or your home sir, but is it appropriate to be addressing a woman like that?
Megan: [MIC] That's a bitch move.
Paris: She made him say this. I'm not going to have a man step to me though.
[Dee walks past the bathroom to the master bedroom]
Diddy: No disrespect to none of y'all, but Paris just doing stuff to stay relevant.
Jean Burrus Confessional: I don't agree with Puff Piggy addressing Paris like that.
Sade Grayson Confessional: I'm not saying shit to Diddy. I just know if he addresses me, I'm telling my husband.
Diddy: You can't attack my lady and think I'm going to sit back. [Diddy goes upstairs]
Dee: Uhmm so how did you meet Puff Daddy?
Adrianna: Roc Nation?
Dee: What do you do again?
Adrianna: I'm an event planner and backup dancer.
[Sade sips drink]
Paris: Girl you were a bottle service girl at the Roc Nation brunch. You are on the payroll.
Adrianna: You're a white bitch talking down on a black woman.
Paris: My issues are with your LIES, Adri. Don't make this a race thing.
Bianca: I agree the whole race thing is too much...
Megan: Agreed, I'm on the BLM Committee we have to stop calling blame on a white woman just because she doesn't like you.
Adrianna: Y'all right, but Paris this is getting old.
Paris: Like your pussy? Or the men you bounce on for checks?
Adrianna: I've been with six men
Paris: This year!
Adrianna: Bitch I make my own money. Get the fuck out of my house Paris like now.
Paris: [starts leaving] Yeah let me leave this RENTED house.
Bianca: I'm going too, this isn't classy.
Sade: Bianca, you have been stale all night long.
Bianca. Sorry Sa-day, this right here, isn't my type of party.
Sade: I'm the one trying to liven it up. You're boring and don't bring shit, but busted highlights.
Bianca: My busted highlights?! Girl please, does your family even have wealth, I mean look at you.
[Adrianna says goodbyes to Dee and Jean]
Sade: Don’t question my family’s wealth you bitch! What, we can’t be oil tycoons cause we’re BLACK? Your generational wealth must’ve dried up before you inherited it because you give homeless.
Bianca: Do you even drive? You fake hair bitch!
Sade: Rich bitches get driven. Don’t worry about me, brokey.
Adrianna: Are y'all done? [To Sade]
Sade Grayson Confessional: Bianca questioned my parent’s well-known legacy. The only time she spoke up tonight was when anyone said “white girl”. Bitch you are not oppressed! Go sit your pending racist ass down.
Producer: Pending racist…?
Yes. I don't know if the ho is racist for sure, but that’s to be determined.
Dee Bell Solo Scene
[camera pans on hotel] [unpacking bags]
[room service knocks at the door]
[opens the door and gets food]
[gets phone call]
Dee: Hello
Lawyer on the phone: Hey Dee, so we have an update on your petition.
Dee: Please tell me some good news.
Dee Bell Confessional: Right now, me and my ex-husband are in a tense custody battle over my baby Syx. We were high school sweethearts. We saw each other struggle and come out on top. Then it went sour when he went and slept with a white woman.
Lawyer: Well, because Syx is with your mom in Atlanta. Orlando says he will withdraw his petition if Syx stays in Atlanta. If Syx doesn’t stay there, then he will continue his case.
Dee: Wowwww. Syx is only with my mom until I close on a home. [starts to cry] am trying to do what’s best for my child, and he is making my life hell.
Dee Confessional: Orlando is still angry that he was left with nothing after our divorce. He holds on to custody of Syx as a way to get me back. He has gone on this bashing tour telling people I am an unfit mother. And it flipped my world upside down.
[FLASHES TO ARTICLE]
Lawyer: Well, if you are willing to keep fighting. We can move into the next steps of getting you full custody.
Dee: Thank you.
[hangs up] Ughhhhhhhhh [wipes tears] [finishes unpacking]
Adrianna & Paris Sit Down
Paris Wildwood Confessional: I decided to meet up with Adrianna today to try to get to the bottom of some of these rumors. I’m gonna hit her with the hard questions to make sure we can get as much truth as possible.
[Paris walks into the outdoor section and gets a table for two]
Adrianna Dakota Ray Confessional: I have to meet up with Jolly Giant today to deal with her obsession with my pussy. Like I’m over her
[Adrianna steps out of her vehicle]
[Adrianna's outfit and Paris' outfit]
Paris: Hello. You look cute.
Adrianna: Hello. How are you?
Paris: I'm great honey, how are you?
Adrianna: Great. [Sits down] So why are we here? It’s clear to me that you don’t like me so why am I here with you.
Paris: I am here to understand this situation with Diddy things just don’t add up for me.
Adrianna: Why are you concerned about me and Diddy are you secretly in love with him. [Orders a Margarita]
Paris: No I’m not, he is like a brother. I just don’t like for fraudulent women to frolic around with men while they’re dating someone else.
Adrianna: He clearly told you to leave me alone baby girl and I think you should do that
Paris: It’s just weird that you jumped into a relationship with him so fast. Well as far as you told the world it was fast but this has been a year-long relationship, right?
Adrianna: Everything about me and Gerald's relationship Diddy knew about it. I don’t understand why you are concerned when it’s none of your concern.
Paris: Girl cut the shit. You were fucking them both at the same time.
Adrianna: I need for you to work for your own paycheck and stop trying to use me. [yawns]
Paris: You and Diddy went on that trip together and he proposed to you there, so you ran back home to break up with your man before the story got out!
Adrianna: [fake sleep as Paris talks]
Paris: [snaps finger in her face] Wake up. You know it's the truth
Adrianna: If I had a ring by Diddy I think I would have said something. And told the news.
Paris: You are a cheating whore from the bottom of the food chain and you fucked your way into having a status. You’re not self-made, that pussy is your money maker.
Adrianna: Oh really bitch? What are you so worried about me baby girl!? Go sell some houses!!! Do something with your life. Maybe if you worried about your husband y’all would have kids by now you stupid Cunt!
Paris: Don’t talk about that you STUPID BITCH! I WILL HAVE KIDS WELL BEFORE YOUR ROTTEN PUSSY WILL BIRTH ANYTHING.
Adrianna: I have TWO KIDS BITCH!
Paris: AND IF THEY’RE ANYTHING LIKE YOU THEY’LL BE JUST AS WORTHLESS!
[Restaurants visitors looks at them]
Paris: [Gets up] I'm going to go before I beat this girl up!
Adrianna: Awww The Jolly Giant Cunt is upset!
Paris: Don’t invite me anywhere else with this trash [Points at production]
Adrianna: I love it -cheers- HAVE A BABY!!
Paris: Your pussy is the lopsided cum dump. Go get that fixed! Tell Diddy to pay for it to get tightened. While he’s fucking on other women in this town!
Adrianna: [blows kisses] Awwww you are sooo cute.
Paris: [storms off] Fuck that stupid fucking cunt ass bitch. Dumb ass bitch talking about my fertility? She is such a brainless worm. Stupid fucking cunt bitch I hate her.
Paris Wildwood Confessional: I see you, Adrianna. You don’t have to ever worry about us being cool ever again. I’m going to tell the world everything I know about you and the men you fuck on and how much they pay you. You’re done.
Adrianna Dakota Ray Confessional: Everything that comes out of this cunt mouth has been a lie she acts as if someone is scared of her when in reality she is upset because she can’t have kids! I know her real tea she better be careful are me because Dakota is coming out to play now.
END OF EPISODE
Commentaires